Conversation this morning:

Me: Argh!

Girlfriend: What?

Me: Well… All I want to do is go down stairs and make scrambled eggs with veggies for us and cinnamon rolls for everyone.

Gf: Ok…

Me: But if I go down stairs while the kids are there, it will be a zoo. They’d wander in and the questions would immediately start.

“What are you making?”

“Can I have some?”

“Wait, why can’t you make me the eggs without the gross stuff in them?”

“I don’t want the yucky ones!”

“Will you make each of us our own individual types of eggs?” (We have 3 Kids)

“What else are you making?” (As I have the cinnamon roll container on the counter)

“Oh we love those!”

“How many do we each get?”

“I want 2!”

I want 3!”

“You can’t have 3 stupid if there are 5 of us and only 5 rolls!”

“Well I want to frost them!”

“No I want to frost them!” And then they would start fighting.

Gf: Ok

Me: Instead, how about you have them all come upstairs, work on cleaning their rooms while I make a treat for everyone. They’ll say “ok mom” enter their room and then proceed to fight, up stairs, away from me in the kitchen with knives.

Gf: I call bullshit

Me: (oh shit, did I take the joke too far, is she still asleep and talking to me?)

Gf: Bullshit, the kids would never just say “ok mom” and good do what we wanted them too.

Sister in law walking by the door: Yeah you sounded like an 80s sitcom parent with that ‘ok mom’ part.

Gf: (thinking for a second) Yeah I’ll have them come upstairs.

We only had to send them back upstairs 3 times in 20 minutes! I call that a win.


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